Children are watching, listening and learning....
|I am happy my kids got to be raised on ranches and rural where i could be with them 24-7. There are lots of things about life in rural life. death, birth, work, as well as God creation. ©salzano|
I have raised two children from infancy to adult. My third Child I had in my early life was raised by my first husband and two of his wives.
( note: I know! What a world we live in today. Well it is worse now since I had kids. But children were meant to have ONE dad and One mom not many moms and dads. But that is another subject)
I have learned some valuable lessons as to what children learn most from.
Is it true that whatever you teach your kids verbally is what they stay with later?
Is it best to purchase the best private teachers, private "nannies" and lots of activities to keep them buys and well taught?
What about discipline?
Yes, correctly done in Love....
There are many views and opinions about child rearing today. Shockingly it seems most people think you don't have to do anything to raise a child. Feed them, and let them grow up.
The biggest thing to remember is that your young children start to learn as soon as they are born. They are born imitators of who ever is around them. The siblings, the adults or day care people you choose is who they shall imitate first. This foundation is set and impacts their lives onto adulthood. The formative years some call them and rightly so. Choose wisely who you want them to imitate.
|baby is always learning from you. Even when they do not understand words they understand a loving hug and tender touching. Your voice is soothing when it is soft and filled with love. ©MB|
Kids are always watching and listening even when you think they are not!
It will be what they see you do NOT what you tell them to do. It is false to say, "do what I say not what I do". For they will aways do as you do first. They will imitate your speech, your actions, your way to dress, your fav songs will be theirs at first. What you like to eat, what your favorite sport is will be theirs. For a time.
If you are angry most the time they will most likely pick up that attitude too. Unthankful? then they will be. If your disrespectful to police and authority figures they will be. If you are always gossiping or speaking badly of others they will hear this and it becomes the "normal" that they incorporate into their thought and actions.
If you smoke, drink too much, steal or cheat on your taxes they will see this as ok to do also.
Who is accountable for teaching our children? Schools ? Government?
Then we see adults complain about the actions of their kids later and they wonder why. Having children is a great responsibility to direct and teach them in the ways that will best prepare them for the future they live without you! We shall be accountable to God us the parents, because they are ultimately God's children and not ours to own. They have their own God given talents and His path for them. Each one is unique and so special to God and His plan for mankind! Make sure they know this.
On the flip side you can study and find out the right way to raise your kids. I mean if it matters to you how they turn out you will study the word of God first and God inspired writers on raising children correctly. Teaching the values of God instead of the values of the world. Teach them as you sit down and when you stand up. Basic moral values. Kindness, giving, joyful and thankful attitudes, good work ethics, positive minds. From the least thing to the greatest all are there for parents to teach their kids. The right foundation will be what they will remember as adults even if they stray at first. Many leave for college and get blasted by wrong behaviors for years and it takes the toll on them unless they have a firm foundation of truth before they go. That includes a base that they are valuable and loved by those around them that supposedly love them the most.
|My life has been full. I learn from my mistakes and did my best to pass what I learn to my children. They know I love them. ©salzano|
The worst thing a person who claims they worship God can do is be so strict and unyielding that they drive their children from God's love! Incorporating so many rules and regulations that you suffocate your child! The attitude is number two to uphold. Yours and your child's. Being Honest and not lying is number three. Showing the love and mercy of God is number one Go over the ten commandments in a way a child can understand. If you do them the child will learn them. But it takes a lot of TIME teaching values. I would watch every tv show with my kids and be commenting along the way. If something was not right I pointed it out and why. If a good lesson was learned I pointed that out and why. Teaching when you sit down and when you stand up.. Meanings all the time everywhere. Not in a sermon sort of way but like your talking to a beloved child that you really care about and want the best for!!
If you have treated your children with disrespect ( yelling at them - berating them) or like they are less then you- then you are sending them off later to be taken advantage of and have poor self image. You want them to trust you? Prove you are trustworthy. You are not their friend, you are their parent. A parent leads and teaches what is right and correct. The bond that comes from parent to child is life long. If you learn and apply how to be a good parent. Even if they should leave for a time, you can have Godly patience until God brings them back again. Trust God in all things.
My first child was unable to see me or I her for many years because of divorce and relatives that did not want me in her life. But we can now and I am pleased God has brought her back into my life. I love her and she is my daughter. I respect her right to choose her path and admire her kindness to others. I learned from that part of my life that our children are not pawns and that we are to love and teach them not someone else. Mistakes happen, and we must go on where we are. God knows this.
My son told me the other day how he dwelt with his dads death (my second husband) when he was 8 or 9 yrs old. What he told me was exactly what I had taught him at the time. That He would see his dad again after God resurrected him and how important it would be to his dad to see him there and have his son help him deal with a new life in a new world here on earth. Vitally important. This set a tone for my sons thinking process to be forward not backyard and depressed. He did take it hard for he loved his dad tremendously. It was painful and had he not had that thought of purpose he may have easily gotten into a wrong crowd. He was taught about God and How important God saw him. How important he was to me and his little sister.
|Some of what I learned from my parents were, Be honest, be kind to all life, keep your word, take small steps when things are bad, don't quit, share, work hard, care about others, family is very important, loyalty, dad is leader ;-) ©salzano|
So in answer to the above questions, No just ordering them or telling them the right way will not keep your child doing what is right. It is a matter of teaching by example. Who would you choose to lead your company? A man with a proven track record of hard work, ethics, character or the man who looks good but no solid reference of what he stands for. Just talks a good talk but no evidence. You should live the life you want your kids to live. Honesty, God first in your life, Giving, helping, joyful attitude, honesty, respect for others.
One can not buy their kids trust. Buying all the latest toys, computer, putting them in all kinds of clubs and activities is no substitute for you. Your time, your values, your example is their number one influence.
Correction is part of life. We correct to keep our children on the right path. We never correct out of anger, frustration, or because we are not in a good mood!! Never use punishment for accidents! Like spilled milk. Unless done in a bad attitude and they did something you had said no too. Example they were told no milk yet and they went to get it anyway and spilt it. But if a child in their growing up breaks something or spills something is no reason to be mad or correct them. They are growing and are clumsy. Wait till you get old and spill and break things because your hands are weak . Yea, you want someone with patience with you. Be patience with your kids and maybe when you are old and feeble they will be patient with you! Correction is done with love. Wait to correct and speak in a adult with love. Then set a correction appropriate for their age and crime.
Seek out a good book on child rearing. James Dobson has some good ones out there. Also some books in the links page on top bar here. United church of God has some good articles.
|When your child grows up, leaves home, ask your self if they know for sure you love them deeply? Have you told them? Hug often and tell them you love them. Then prove it by your actions and time spent with them. ©salzanos.|