Who can find a virtuous wife?


The phrase a virtuous wife speaks of excellence, moral worth, ability, and nobility not just marital fidelity.  (see also 12:4) such a woman is the ideal of wisdom in action. Quote from my study bible.

If a man is seeking a wife the proverbs wife has a list of ideal traits though not necessarily one you will find with all those traits.  I might add that what is rarely considered is that you should not be looking for the perfect soul mate but one that God has chosen for you!  This way you will have a partner for life that will accent you and yes, one that will challenge you to be better than you are at the beginning.  Sword sharpens sword you know. ;-)  Believe me, I understand this concept at my age of sixty plus now.   

Lets run through some of these traits in modern language. 

She is trust worthy.   "deserving of trust or confidence; dependable; reliable"
She is one you know you can trust with the finances, with personal family things, and being reliable.
She will not do anything on purpose to ruin the goals you have both set.
Verse 11: The heart of her husband safely trusts her

She works and is not lazy.  She knows the needs of the family and understands the needs of others. She is thinking of how to help the household by making things they need or starting a home based business or work outside of home that will help the family. She keeps in mind her greatest gift is being there for her children and for her husband.  She knows how to run the household and is organized.  She is always learning new things to help the family as a whole.  Making sure she is up early to see to the jobs and many hats she may wear to keep the home front going.  She finds great joy in this job God has gave her. Knowing wherever she is placed to be God is working through her to be a light and inspiration to others by her deeds not her mouth.  (although some are preaching the word we inspire more by actions) 
verses 12-16

Verse 17: she girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.
This verse I believe (my opinion) is that she girds her self with GOD.  She knows where to find the wisdom and strength for every day by constant prayer and supplications to God for help.  
Every morning to even get out of bed early she is making her first thoughts to God.  Seeking Him by praise and asking for the strength and will to face all the challenges of the day. Seeking to see the positive of the day and asking for God's anointing in all He has planned for her. She has regular prayer life.

verse 18 She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp does not go out at night...
I love this verse because I do create and sell things to help my husband.  But this can apply to any area she is doing above and beyond the care and running of the household.   Maybe she is just living alone and has a full time job.  Her household would be the apt, the pets she has, the things she goes out of her way to help others or encourage them. Maybe she goes home and twice a week makes cookies for the elderly down the hall or the single mom with kids across the street or at work.
And at night she takes care of herself.  She eats healthy, watches her health so that she can be a vessel of God and hear Him always.  Her lamp does not go out at night to me means she is always a reflection of God's light day or night.  Thus I do not see her planning weekly party nights with drinking bouts in bars late at night.   This is not what a virtuous wife or potential one would be reflecting.  
PS, just because she may attend church does not mean she is a true follower of Jesus Christ. 

verses 20-22 
She is working not to get rich but to see to the needs of her house and the needs of others.

verses 23-25
She will be a asset to her husband because he too is a person who honors God and follows the laws of Love. Thus he will be in a honorable position at his work. She and he work not for prestige or the favor of man but to help others and be uplifting and inspiration to others. Honest and reliable working and giving.  

Verse 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. 
This is huge.  A virtuous wife will not be a gossiper, a negative soul or a lier.  She is always seeking to be kind even in situations that can be trying.  She speaks with Gods wisdom and follows the example of Jesus Christ.  This does not mean she has no boundaries for Christ Himself has boundaries.  Too many think being a follower of Christ means we allow others to lord over us but instead we learn where our boundaries are and where others are.  We also can allow others to hurt us and not retaliate but we must have wisdom to know when our self sacrifice is not helping someone grow but instead set tough love to help our loved ones grow to be better than they are at times. 
Saying no to others is important as saying yes.  When a person wants to gossip with you , say No I do not want to hear something that will put a negative thought in mind about them.  When someone asks if you will help them out with money after many other times and never pay back or say thank you it may again be best to say no.  These all must be taking to God for His wisdom and direction before you act.  PS. I recommend the books on Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. 

She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,

And let her own works praise her in the gates.

©salzano  Rose of Pink beauty is not comparable to a wife who Loves and follows God!

 In conclusion remember these are the IDEAL wife.  Not a list to must have.  We are all human and have faults.  If you think you have no faults then you deceive yourself and if you think you can find a faultless perfect person to share life you will never find one. 
Also these lists are really what a man needs in his character also before a wife chooses husband.  Just change out the roles in character.  Honesty, work habit, kindness, mouth habits, most of All "Do they worship and follow God?  To know these things you will have to spend quality time together.  Without Sex!  A person who can not wait for sex does not love you  as you need.

Just getting to know each other and loving each other as people who are seeking God.  Enjoying the friendship and companionship for a while.  It is so worth it to go slowly.  

Pray always for God's will in your life.  In these quickly accelerated times trust God. If you do not have a mate maybe it is for the best right now.  Just wait and never think you know what God is going to do for you.  You may have a incredible mate just around the corner or you may be lifted up to do something so big you cannot bear the responsibility of a mate at this time.  

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