38 years ago Today I made big changes.......
|me in bandana, in a ghost town McCarthy Alaska|
I remember the months before this day clearly. I had been swimming downstream like all the fish in the waters of the world. Just a ordinary girl of early 20's. But in that short time I had already been arrested once for stealing a tape at 18, married and divorced once, and after living with my next "partner" for a couple years had just married him. Our son was at our wedding. I had left behind a precious daughter from previous marriage due to my X's family not keen on me seeing her and I sincerely thought she was better off with that family.
|Me and my second husband before I was called by God. Bob died at age 34 in a auto accident.|
I had been working in my husband's office cleaning this day. I found a old but clearly never read bible in his books that was his dads. Out of curiosity I just flipped it open and it opened on the story of the woman caught in adultery and Christ saying, "I forgive you, go and sin no more".
Surprisingly I just fell to the floor in tears and a flood of warmth came over me from head to toe.
I started then over the next couple months seeking to Know God and find a church to go too. I only prayed one prayer. I had no previous religious experience. No churches or reading the bible except for stories my mother would tell me from a children's book of bible stories.
Please teach me for I know nothing! I need a true church that will help me learn. I am not able to know what is truth or not!
Eventually I did find a church God lead me too. It was not the first one I tried. It was a bible based one and I know that God set me there to learn. My promise at baptism was that I may have to set down and rest now and then but I would not give up ever.
That day came to be baptized and I had no idea who the four gospels were or how to find the books being mentioned in service quick enough like others. I only knew God was was real and He wanted to teach me and I wanted to learn. I brought to the table one ingredient. A willing heart.
I was a sinner. I had sinned in many things. I knew this. God offered forgiveness and a changed life.
It meant that I needed to make a lot of changes. I had to give up my wild party group of friends. They were nice people but hanging in bars, and swearing, and gossip and living a life of getting for me was done. It was the best choice ever made and I thank God every single day for my new life.
It is not without hardship and pain for spiritual growth is not with struggles. No one can learn Godly character in ease and perfect conditions. One does not grow muscles by sitting on a couch all day.
|I was 16 in this photo Living in Hermiston Oregon. A swinger instant camera. How things have changed!|
We cannot undo our past. We CAN change our future. But only when God helps you see how wrong our ways our and how perfect and full of joy His ways will be. There are only two choices in this life. Believe or Unbelief. You can not say you believe and not do the life God shows by His word. If you do you are still a unbeliever. Just parading as a follower of Christ and you will not benefit from the relationship you could have with God. It is fake and useless.
So as celebrate this day, I can say that in all these past years God has always been faithful. He never leaves us alone, He has provided all I needed every single day. When I fall He picks me up and sets me on my feet again. Physically, spiritually and mentally. He is my all, my breath, my joy in the night. He hears every cry for help and every good deed is seen by His eyes. He knows your coming and your going. You are precious in His sight. No one loves you as He does. If you want one good thing in your life choose to know God and seek Him daily. Never give up no matter how tough things get around you. He is kind and gentle but do not think that with that love He will allow us to get away with any sin. Out of love He corrects his children so that they will reap a change and with change a joy unbelievable.
Also today I have three grown children. And I have good relationships with them all! I love them dearly. A granddaughter too!. My second husband died in a auto accident. Many things and many roads I have traveled but it has all been worth it. I would tell anyone that following God is the life to live!