Raising Our Kids, Part Three "Have we abandoned our children?,"







I even found it successful to take my children to museums that show the consequences of smoking, or taking drugs.  Those exhibits that show human organs abused by smoke, drugs and alcohol.  
I also took my son to one that showed the fetus, and what happens in a abortion.  I wanted my children to be informed, and by me, not the world.  
It is important to know “when” to take them to these things.  Too young, and they do not understand. But Richard was about 8yrs old when I took him.  Even teenagers can benefit from these field trips. 
 We all learn from what we do, if we can learn before we do something harmful to us or others is not this something we should apply?  
Raising a child is all about 24-7 teaching.  Most of this teaching is just going to be what they observe the adults in their life doing.   Do you lie?  Your children will lie.  Do you cheat on taxes or cheat in other ways?  Your children will learn to cheat.  Do you steal?  Even if you “steal” soap from a hotel, or a pen from a counter, you have just taught those little eyes that it is ok to steal.  Everything you do, and everything you say will be repeated by your children.
If you curse, and use fowl language, do not be surprised when you child goes to school and uses the same words.
If you are always talking bad about someone, they will repeat it.  So watch what you say and how you say things .  It is good for us to learn to bridle our mouths any way.  We should be speaking uplifting and encouraging things.  We should speak with wisdom and truth.  At times we must speak in admonishment and that should never be done in heated anger, but in a teaching way.  Firmly and consistently.  Children need family boundaries.  This is what gives them security.  Without this, they will be pushing to see where the boundaries are.   If they lie, their will be consequences.  Always, not just sometimes.  This is a boundary.  If they steal or hit.  There are consequences.  Setting right boundaries.
It just came to my mind, one of the worst things adults do to damage their children.  Every time, I hear a adult yell at or speak in a harsh voice using degrading words. I just want to cry.  Words can cut and kill your child’s esteem for ever.  Do not say things like, 
I wish you were never born”, “You're  worthless”, “why cant you be like your sister”, “shut up you #@?”, “I don’t know why I ever had you”  etc etc etc.

Never talk about your children when they are listening!  Unless it is to praise them for the good things they do.  Like talking about how bad they are to someone will be devastating to them!  In time they WILL BECOME what you tell them they are!  If you always tell them they are brats, always in trouble they will become that!
Even if you do not mean these cruel remarks, you are tearing out their ability to have any confidence in your love or love for who they are.  This can also happen when they hear you downgrade and speak negative about the other parent.  They are a part of both of you.  To use these little children to get back at another will most assuredly destroy them.  And most often, it destroys their love of you.

This is all a form of abandonment.  Look at the definition of this word:
abandon |əˈbandən|
verb [ trans. ]
1 give up completely (a course of action, a practice, or a way of thinking) : he had clearly abandoned all pretense of trying to succeed. discontinue (a scheduled event) before completion : against the background of perceived threats, the tour was abandoned.
2 cease to support or look after (someone); desert : her natural mother had abandoned her at an early age.
( abandon someone/something to) condemn someone or something to (a specified fate) by ceasing to take an interest in or look after them : it was an attempt to persuade businesses not to abandon the area to inner-city deprivation.
3 ( abandon oneself to) allow oneself to indulge in (a desire or impulse) : abandoning herself to moony fantasies.
 
In all these examples, as you read them, do you see how this applies to how we can abandon our responsibilities in raising and teaching our children?  Do we cease to support our children?  Is it just too easy to let the TV or the Games they play or the kids they hang out with, keep them busy?  Thus, we can do our thing?  We are busy right?  We have little time for anything but work.  But......  
You will always have bills to pay, you will always have a roof to fix, and the garage to be cleaned.  You will not always have these little children with you.  The Word of God tells us to “train up a child in the way he/she should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it”.   Proverbs 22:6
Our children are not ours!  They belong to God.  We are only caretakers of them for a few years.  God places the responsibility for the care and training upon us. We shall be held accountable.  It is not a burden.  Their is so much joy in this time.  It is not easy, but it is fulfilling.  In your old age, You shall be a happy person if you have raised loving and responsible children.  They will be there for you, as you were for them.  




This is my favorite book on training up a child!  It worked for me.

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